in closing...

... thank you all so much for your prayers & support for me over the course of my time in Guatemala! I am safely back in the States, with a lot of things to mull over and a lot of reasons to be praising & rejoicing. If anyone's curious to hear a more detailed telling of my summer, I'm always happy to share.

Some final photos:

¡Que Dios les bendiga!

lasts

We're in our last few days here at Casa Bernabe, and I'm all a mix of emotions -- relieved to be seeing my family and friends so soon, anxious about the care and welfare of the kids who I soon will not be able to care for myself, confused as to the purpose of my time here, altogether just worn out...

One thing I can be sure of, however, is that the Lord has used this time to remind me what it is to be faithful to Him. It is found in John 14:15-27, which says:

15 “If you love me, you will keep my commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, 17 even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.18 “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. 21 Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.”... 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."

I have wrestled a lot in my time here with feeling that the Lord's calling on my life is just too much for me to handle. But, over the past week alone, God has used the stories of those working here at CB (people who truly seek to keep His commandments) to remind me that He is so faithful in return to those faithful to Him, and that He offers so much more than this world ever could, no matter how challenging it may be to follow after Him.

My faith is still so small and my journey is only just beginning in so many ways, but I hope and pray never to give up on that terribly challenging but oh so beautiful plan that the Lord has for my life, a plan which is full of peace, love, and joy beyond our earthly understanding.

but one part of the Body of Christ

I have been learning a lot this summer about the fact that as members of the body of Christ all have specific - and often seemingly small - roles to play in being the hands and feet of Jesus. I am seeing more clearly now that it is ok, that and God doesn't mind, if I don't save the whole world; in fact, He prefers that I focus on just a part, because in doing that I am focusing on individuals, on people whom He created to love and to be loved.

Here at Casa Bernabe, I now see that between all the dishes, diapers, mops and brooms, baby bottles and formula, my role has been to care specifically for one child: everyday for the past 6 weeks I have worked with him, trying to bring his 14-month-old body back up to speed after having spent the first year of his life in a crib without a mother who wanted to hold him.

About two weeks ago, a pediatric therapist came through CB on a short term team and taught me as much as she could about how to stretch and work his tight and underdeveloped body. Since then I've spent almost every moment I can doing these exercises with him and have been so so encouraged by the improvements he has made.

Then on Wednesday of this week we learned from another doctor who came through that, in addition to all he went through in his first year of life, the back of his skull has fused too early which will keep the back of his brain from developing properly and potentially leave him in a vegetative state for the rest of his life. Needless to say, I have been very discouraged and upset over this, but at the same time have seen God's hand in about a million ways since receiving the news.

First of all, I realized yesterday after finding out some more information that the back of his skull had probably actually fused before he even came here, meaning that he really should not have been making any progress in the whole time I've been here (yet he has). Secondly, there is a surgery to correct this problem, which I at first thought would be virtually impossible to bring about since he would most likely have to travel to the United States to get it, requiring a medical Visa and a lot of money, both of which are hard to come by. But we've already had someone offer to sponsor him for all that he needs, and as it turns out, there is actually a chance the surgery could happen here in Guatemala City. Thirdly, his legal representative happened to come and visit the orphanage yesterday to check in on him and his sister and after hearing about the potential surgery, said that he might be able to help expedite the process. And so the list goes on...

Let us never doubt the truth of Scripture when it tells us of God's faithfulness when we call upon Him in prayer.

las caras más hermosas

18 days more here in Guatemala. Excited to be going home soon(ish) but so glad that the Lord has brought me here. There is so much I never would have learned otherwise and my time here has centered me on Him and on persistent prayer in ways I can't imagine having happened had I been elsewhere.

Praise for the joy that the Lord has blessed me with this past week, for freedom from darkness, and for His faithfulness. Prayer for patience and presence here in my last few weeks, for continued team unity despite the fact that we are all soon to part ways, for the 14 month old I work with that God would continued to work miracles in his life, and for continued reliance on the Lord for strength, joy, and peace.

some of the most beautiful faces I know

lago atitlán

This past week, my team took our midsummer three day break to Lake Atitlán, which is believed to be one of the most beautiful places on earth, and which (after going there myself) certainly goes on my personal list of most beautiful places. The days were both restful and exciting, full of zip-lining, trying delicious Guatemalan foods, sitting peacefully at our hotel while looking out over the volcanoes and the lake, shopping in Mayan marketplaces, visiting a textile coop and coffee roasting coop, and (of course) drinking lots and lots of coffee.

Here are some of my favorite shots from the trip:

Prayers/praises:

-We had a pediatric physical therapist come through CB this past week who worked with our 14 month old who is severely behind developmentally (he's about at the point where a 3 month old should be). In the few days she was here we were able to see incredible improvements in him, holding his neck up, looking around, focusing in on things... and while the therapist is now gone, she taught us so much more about how to be caring for him, helping him stretch and move in ways that will improve his growth, and so on. Biggest praise of the summer thus far, and I'm so blessed to be a part of it.
-As redundant as it may sound, continue to pray that I would find joy in the Lord here... it is a battle for me to fight each day, and I can physically feel it when the Lord has lifted me out of darkness and into His joy, a blessing which I know is only possible through prayer. 
-For team unity, that despite our differences, all 16 of us could remember our common foundation in Christ and find ways to bless each other.
-For presence here, that I would not be looking ahead to the next "more exciting" thing, or to coming home in about a month; that I would focus on loving and serving the children and the staff in each day and in all the little things.
-For the health, well-being, and development of the children we're working with, that they would find healing and also be aware as they grow that this healing can be found here solely because the Lord is at work and has made this place of refuge possible. 

planting seeds

I just now had a conversation with a Guatemalan woman here, who is visiting her uncle and aunt at CB for the day, about the importance of love in the lives of very young children -- that even though this love seems like such a menial and tiresome task, it is so so utterly important for these children to experience it. She reminded me that the Lord is always working, that He blesses the work of those who serve Him, and that loving children is like planting a seed in their lives which they will carry with them all their days into eternity. So, while I may become weary and impatient on a regular basis, I can rest in the knowledge that the Lord is using my work here in ways not visible to me. And, at the end of the day, I really could not ask for more than that Lord uses me.

Please continue to pray that I would experience the Lord's joy in everyday tasks, and for the grace to serve in humility and use my words to love on my house parents and fellow workers. I cannot think of a more important thing that we can do, as humans and as Christians, than to pray, pray, pray.

I'll close here with one of my favorite poems, which I am now reading with a fresh perspective that the Lord sleeps "as a tiny seed" in what is small:


I find you, Lord, in all Things and in all
my fellow creatures, pulsing with your life;
as a tiny seed you sleep in what is small
and in the vast you vastly yield yourself.
The wondrous game that power plays with Things
is to move in such submission through the world:
groping in roots and growing thick in trunks
and in treetops like a rising from the dead.
-Rainer Maria Rilke

a day apart

I think Friday's Antigua and volcano adventures can best be described in pictures, so here are just a few highlights:

[salsa dancing]

 
 [a view of volcan agua]

    [Mayan hot chocolate]

    [the three of us from Wheaton on the top of volcan pacaya]

[some of the team venturing around the top]